February.

Mariana Machado
3 min readFeb 14, 2020

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Photo by Jakub Dziubak on Unsplash

My alarm goes off. I hit snooze.
It rings again and I hit snooze one more time — it’s been hard to wake up these last few weeks but I gather the power to get up.

It’s time for a much needed coffee cup, and as I wait for it to be ready, I sit on my couch looking at the wall. Contemplating.

We’re not even two months into 2020 and what a year it has been. When it started, I was convinced this was going to be a great year. I had new resolutions, new goals and new things I wanted to try, but we’re in February now and I know better.

January was weird. I’m 100% certain it had more than 31 days, and if it didn’t, it sure seemed like it. The first week went by super fast — I was on vacation for the first couple of days and then I got back to work, ready to conquer my bright bright future.

Then came week two and well, let’s just say, sh*t just hit the fan:
. We almost had WW3.
. Coronavirus is a thing.
. I was ghosted by one of my best friends.
. I had double the work load.
. I broke my phone. I paid a stupid amount to repair said phone.
. I had a trillion migraines.
. Kobe Bryant died.
. And that’s just a third of the list.

The more I think about this, the more my New Year’s resolutions sound unrealistic. I won’t be writing more than I usually do, I won’t be able to spend more time with my friends or family and I sure ain’t going to save money to travel more.

As I hear the sweet sound of brewing coffee, I get up to pour it into a mug and start sipping it carefully. That’s exactly what I needed — caffeine.
I put my thoughts aside and finish drinking the coffee. Time to get in the shower.

Once caffeine hits, I usually think clearer. Sure, I won’t be able to stop coronavirus, or bring back Kobe or understand the ghosting phenomenon, but there’s other things I can do.
. I’m going to enjoy my free time.
. I will try to take more naps.
. I will invite my mom and brother over.
. I will continue to talk to my sister everyday on the phone. I’ll even call her twice when I’m mad at something and need someone to listen to my complaints.
. I will cherish my friends. I will visit them in Braga, Porto, Lisbon, Brussels or even Panama.
. I will buy flowers to brighten up my new place (and hopefully I won’t kill them on the second day).

And, I will continue my boxing classes and eventually kick the fan’s ass when sh*t hits again.

I get dressed and get out the door. Time to get to work.
March will be much, much better.

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Mariana Machado
Mariana Machado

Written by Mariana Machado

I used to dream about becoming a poet and I’ve always loved writing, so I made it my job.

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