Status: off for the day
Last Friday I went to a restaurant without a face mask and I was thrilled. I know covid is real and we need caution, but we’ve been dealing with this for so long that every step we take towards getting back to our lives is a win for me. These past two years have taught me a lot of things, mostly positive ones. I realize I’m truly privileged for what I take from a global pandemic is, for the most part, positive personal lessons. No one around me got hit too hard by the virus and I never stopped working.
On the other hand, I’m tired. I feel mentally drained, not when I’m working but actually on weekends and my down time. I’m less and less willing to be on my phone, replying to messages and checking social media platforms other than TikTok (here’s a funny video).
I’ve been trying to figure out why that is, and I’m still looking for an answer, but I came up with a theory.
I’ve always been online for hours and hours every day. Some of my friends say that if they need something they text me because they know I’m on my phone. Before Covid, I too worked on my computer the entire day but I had in-person contact with my peers and I didn’t spend my days on slack or on Google Meet as I do today. Since I now have to be social via slack or calls every day and 80% of my human contact is made through the internet, when I get off work I don’t really want to speak to almost anyone on my phone. I’d rather do that in person.
So my theory is that before Covid I used to have a social life, so I’d be more than happy to be on my phone to talk to whoever texted me and escape real-life people for some minutes. Now that I have to communicate the entire day via text and be online, I don’t have the headspace to keep doing that when I don’t really have to.
I’d rather surround myself by fewer people to whom I relate the most to and who I really care about; and they care about me.
Anyway, long story short, sorry if I don’t reply to your messages or don’t pick up my phone if you call. It’s probably nothing personal but I’m just tired of being on my phone all the time. Hopefully now that things are getting better, my mind will take a break and I’ll revert to my past self. But for now, I’m off.
